Hi everyone,
Am feeling a bit melancholy this holiday season and have been thinking about and missing Ray a lot. Have been thinking of all of our friends and supporters here too and hope this finds you well.
It’s been about three months since Ray left us. We have since adopted a young Golden surrendered by a family who couldn’t care for him, so the house is active with new life and the fun of having a “toddler” – one who didn’t have much of a chance to express himself and socialize, as he was apparently shoved into a crate most of the time. It’s been…interesting!
While I love our new addition (dubbed “Monty” for Monty Python) – he is definitely not Ray. And that’s no one’s fault. And while it’s been a welcome transition for my husband, who Monty adores, it’s a bit more difficult for me. Ray was my baby. He was perfect. I think I can still feel his presence in my office while I’m working. And when I think maybe it’s Monty I’m sensing, I look down to find no one is there.
Of course, we are creating new habits and new routines. But I can’t help longing for the nightly steps Ray and I had. He would, without fail, come to bed when I did. He would sit by my side of the bed and allow me to hug and smooch on him for as long as I liked/needed, and then I would gesture for him to lay down. Just before I would switch off the light at my bedside, Ray would glance back over his shoulder at me as if to say “Goodnight, Mommy.” I would stroke him one last time and turn off the light. It was reassuring to both of us, I think. I miss it so much.
Not sure what I’m trying to say here except that I guess I welcome the fresh start of a new year. Losing a beloved pet is never easy and I’m glad we have the opportunity to help another sweet creature through life with love and support. I just really wish circumstances had been different, and Ray had been here to show Monty the ropes too. But we don’t always get that choice, so we make the best of the options we have.
Thanks for posting tonight. !Been wondering how you’ve been doing.
Yeah, the holidays can be a pretty brutal time when you’re dealing with the loss of a loved one.
Ray “knows” Monty…he may have even picked him ot for you before he “left”! It sonds like…given his namesake…he’s quite the clown. Of course, all “youngsters” are.
Thanks for sharn your nightly ritual with Ray. Very sweet. I think that’s one of the hardest part f the grief process…missng the “rituals”, the “routines”. Maybe, while holdng onto those wmderful “good night” scenarios you and Ray shared, you could add a new ne withyo and Mnty. An addition…not a replacement. I think Ray would like t see that.
Defnitely pay attention when yo feel the “presence” of Ray withyou…he is. I firmly believe Ray’s energyis all aroundnyou…he’s just eaitng for you to realize it and immerse yourself in it.
So, next time you “look down and no one is there, quietly acknowledge Ray’s presence….he’s there!
May the wonderful memories of Ray comfort you during this holiday season…and may Monty Python throwin a few “New memories” in the making!
Maybe you would feel like posting a few pics of sweet Ray in the next few days. We’d love to see more of that sweet, gentle soul.
Raywill neverbe forfotten by us!
Sending you love and your pack love!
Sally and Happy Hannah
Well, I know what you’re trying to say in this post. Ray was “The One.” Just like my Max was “The One” for me. There will never be another Ray for you, just like there will never be another Max for me. And maybe that’s the way it should be. Because you will never forget Ray. You will never forget all the “little” things that you and he had. And those things were ONLY for you and Ray, and not for anyone else. Ray was special. And though it is overwhelming that he is no longer with you, his memory and quirks and habits will be with you until you’re no longer here. And that’s something pretty special that not everyone gets to experience. It’ll be four years in January since my boy passed; and I still remember how he’d stand in the hallway until I came to bed; how he’d go in between my legs when he was ready to go home from the dog park; and the smell of his neck fur. You have those things with Ray, and those things will never be lost. That’s true love.
Ohhh boy can we relate!
First, congrats on Monty, kudos to you for giving him a great home, he sounds like he sure needed to find you. And you gave him a fantastic name too, what more can a dog ask for?
But yeah, it’s hard not to look at the new kid and yearn for all that you used to have with your heart dog. It takes time to learn not to compare; we KNOW that we’re all individuals and we all have our talents and special moments that we’ll share in different ways, but sometimes it’s hard to remember that, especially when you’re in the first stages of a new relationship and that special way of relating to one-another still hasn’t developed.
The good news is that your relationship will get there in time. All of these crazy moments will add up to something really great and wonderful in time and suddenly the light bulb will go off, you’ll look back and go “Oh, NOW I remember what this is like!” What a day that will be!
Many hugs to you and the furkid today, it’s great to hear from you.